Film Developing, Louisville

Film & Film-Changing Bag

My friend and film developer, Drew, was away for 5 of the 7 weeks I spent in Boonville, Indiana. Today I arrived in Louisville, KY and dropped off 200+ sheets to him, and we are currently working on developing sheet numbers 23 - 34 from that box. I think I shot 500 sheets of film this time around, about 100 more then NY, and 250 more then Missouri. And I have only seen about 60 of them, so we have a lot of work to do.

It is great to see him at work, to smell the chemicals, and to see the entire process unfold. While loading and unloading film in my changing bag, which I do A LOT, I have nothing to do but think. And normally all I can think about is the wonder that is photography and its development process. When loading each sheet of film, I think about its possibilities and what the future may hold. What stories will it tell? Whose likeness will it capture? And so on. But I also think of the latent image as I download it. What did I do wrong? Did I focus you? Was my exposure correct? Will you be my greatest achievement? It sounds weird, yes. But most of the time I am all alone, and who better to talk to then my film? And as those many latent images are beginning to magically appear, I have been both amazed and disappointed. So continues the normal cycle.

Goodbye, Boonville, Indiana

Tomorrow morning I will leave Boonville, Indiana. I've had a wonderful time, and believe that I have produced my best work to date while here. I am off to Louisville in the morning to spend some time looking over more work and to make a few scans.

Each of the towns I have visited and stayed in are unique, and my experiences have varied greatly from town to town. Each one is difficult and wonderful, in it's own way. Boonville, Indiana instantly reminded me of my home-town, and that observation defined this trip for me.

Yesterday I drove the same route that I drove when I arrived here for a brief visit six months ago, while on my way to Boonville, Missouri. During yesterdays drive my senses and memory quickly awoke as I realized that it would be the last time I would take that route to Boonville, Indiana (for some time anyway). I was filled with a mysterious feeling. I was reminded of those feelings when I first arrived so long ago. It was my first visit to a Boonville in four years. I was nervous. And that feeling was the same only seven weeks ago when I arrived to Indiana for my thirty-plus day visit. Those memories made me excited, and even more so sad. I had no idea what to expect when first arriving. What was this place like? What was the mystery surrounding it? As I drove by yesterday, I knew those answers, and I now know those roads and many elements of this town like the back of my hand. It is a wonderful and emotional feeling, to know that I conquered my fear of the unknown.

My best friend once said to me, "I love looking at a drawing I have just finished, it amazes me that the piece of paper was was once blank, and that I have created a world of everything from nothing." I feel the same way about Boonville. A town that was once a mystery to me, a place that was once unknown to me, now means everything to me. And I am so very sad to have to leave.

Hell Week, Indiana, Day 5

Very Cold!, Jan. 24, 2008, Boonville, IN

"Hell Week" has been a success. I have been out shooting everyday this week but one. And that is all I have been doing.

During these travels I've come closer to fully understanding myself and my art then ever before. But I've come to find that I am lazy. I often make myself angry over this conclusion, and I will probably always feel guilty for said weakness. But now I have come to accept it and work around it. It's not just laziness, I also lose my train of thought very quickly, as well as my focus. I simply cannot do two things at once.

So to make the most of my last week in Boonville, Indiana, I am doing nothing but waking up around 7:30am, going to the cafe to eat my daily Hobo and to watch a few episodes of Twin Peaks, maybe write in my journal, and then go to the house to pick up my camera and gear. Then the day begins. A whole three to six hours of roaming the Boonvilles streets, bars, etc., looking for those damn elusive moments that I will try to transfer onto film. Then back to the house around 6:30pm to find some food, pace back and forth, watch a movie, and then to bed.

I simply can't deal with anything other then shooting or thinking about shooting. I try not to answer the phone, or engage with family or friends, or go out to eat, etc. Anything that will take my mind away from either photography, or just zoning out, is bad. That is "Hell Week."

It's more like "Awesome Week," now that I have it figured out.

Home-Cooked Meal, #21, The Hobo!

The Hobo, Boonville Cafe, Boonville, IN, 2008

The Hobo: Hash Browns, topped with Cheddar Cheese and Two Eggs (over easy), and a side of whole wheat toast.

Hell Week, Indiana

Aaron Mauck's Guest bedroom, Boonville, IN, Jan, '08

This is my last week in town and it will be filled with lots of shooting. I've come a long way since that first hell week in Missouri. The traveling is a lot harder on me, but both my work and my work ethic has become as close to solid as it may ever get. I still break down, as you well know, but I seem to have a better understanding of myself, and what I need to do to get through it.

last night I checked off two items on my to-photograph list. And while doing so, I stumbled upon something that could really be great. There have been a few times while on this trip, probably four, were I really thought I captured something special. One of the greatest feelings in the world, for me anyway, is when you look in the camera, and the projected image on the ground glass simply hits you like a ton of bricks. Those moments (for me) are few and far between, but they do exist, and it is truly a wonderful experience. This time it was a landscape, and that image will stay burned into my mind until the moment I see the film. And then I will probably be disappointed, again. Wish me luck this week. It is cold.

High School Recap + Day off

Yesterday was the first successful day off that I have had in awhile. I thought very little about photography, and a lot about absolutely nothing. It was grand.

Friday was another crazy day. Not as physically demanding as Thursday, in which I photographed about thirty students spread out across creation, but demanding, physically and psychologically.

I'm glad to report that I didn't make any mistakes. And if I did, I caught them all right on the spot. Between Thursday and Friday I photographed roughly forty-five students. Friday I photographed a few swimmers, volleyball players, watched and photographed the Homecoming game, and then I photographed the King + Queen at the Homecoming Dance, as well as a few others.

I am extremely excited about the photos taken. And I feel that a few of them may be some of the best stuff to date. I've never taken that many portraits in two days before. I scheduled a lot of things back-to-back, which I knew was a mistake, and surely added to the rush, but I had no choice. Everything, minus a few shots at the game, was taken with my 4/5 and strobes. The gear that was on my back and over my shoulder for those two days was crazy. Each image took about 35-45 minutes on average to set-up and shoot. I had an amazing time. The teachers and staff were all very accommodating and supportive. The kids were very open to me and the camera, not too mention very smart and really funny. Some were really funny.

Even though I had planned on sleeping in, I awoke early on Saturday. So I took advantage and went to the Boonville Cafe to get my favorite breakfast. It's called the "Hobo," and that is all I am telling you. Except that it is awesome, and I have eaten about twenty-five Hobos since I arrived. My day off was excellent: I watched Twin Peaks at the Cafe while eating my Hobo, watched a basketball game, took a nap, read, and then I did something I have not done in months, I watched a movie at "home" while eating a burrito! It was a chicken burrito with the works, and I was watching Amadeus. Perfect day off. And I am doing it all over again. With the wind chill, it is two degrees out right now, so I will spend the day at a bar watching the football games, and then come home and eat another burrito! And watch the Godfather! And then back to work in the morning!

Rush + Review + Opening

Krista Steinke at Review Santa Fe 2007 © Matt Suhre

Yesterday I spent twelve or so hours at the Highschool (7:30am - 8pm). Lots of picture taking. It was definitely the most productive day I have had during the whole trip, and I am really excited to see every one of the images. I could have used an assistant though, my legs are killing me. I photographed weightlifters, wrestlers, basketball players, cheerleaders, and a number of other students in the halls and on school grounds. It was a rush.

Today I awoke at 5:30 to attend the teachers monthly meeting. And I will be going back to the school in a few hours to take some more images, and then on to tonights Homecoming Basketball game and dance. But first I have to deal with Santa Fe.

I just got back from the Post Office, where I received a package from Drew that contained new work from Indiana, and the twenty images that I will be putting back in the mail in a few hours for the Santa Fe Review, and Project Competition. I'm not confident about the Project Competition. I believe I will have a better chance next year, but I wanted to give it a shot, and to introduce the work to Charlotte Cotton, one of the three judges this year. Good luck to all of those who are submitting. I'm nervous. I hate these things.

P.S. The Locate | Navigate show opens TONIGHT at the Urban Culture Project Space in Kansas City. Check it out if you are in the area!

Back To School

Freaks and Geeks, 1999 (TV Show)

Today I spent about three hours roaming the halls of the Boonville High School. Thanks to the very supportive Principal Whitten and Mr. Meyer, the Athletic Director, I have been invited to take pictures of the school and current students.

High School sports and youth are an important part of my Boonville Philosophy. During my travels, I have found many beautiful High Schools, but none have fit with my vision quite like the one in Boonville, Indiana. The second night I was in town I "snuck" (the gate was open) onto the football field, and sat alone under the stars, reminiscing of all the Friday nights I spent watching HS football games when I was young. So many wonderful and mysterious things happen under those lights. That is what first struck me. Second was the school name: The Pioneers. The Boonville Pioneers! How brilliant. And third was everything else. It's perfect. I had been holding off photographing students and athletes in the other towns, hoping I might find a better fit in the next, and I am glad I did.

This Thursday and Friday I will spend the day photographing the school, current students, and members of the Wrestling, Volleyball, Basketball, and Swimming teams. I will also be attending the Boonville Homecoming game, as well as the Homecoming dance.

I wasn't the biggest fan of HS. But it left a very specific and memorable mark on me and my thinking. My greatest memories, as in the strongest, not best, are of HS. I basically wandered through those years, much like I do my current ones, and I never felt I made a major impact in one way or another. I had many friends, but only two of which I still talk to, and only a handful of ones I could still name.

I often look back and think of my best and worst memories during HS; They are dream like, and sometimes I get the feeling as if they never really happened, but oddly enough they are very clear (maybe I just wish they never happened). Those four years are very intriguing, and effect everyone in a unique way. Mine still haunt me, but in a good way, an inspiring way. I'm looking forward to exploring that in the coming days.

Inspiration

This song completely blows my mind. I've listened to this album at least thirty times in the last day, and this song three times that. I'm not sure if it is helping or not. But I think so.



Bright Eyes
Lets Not Sh!t Ourselves (To Love Or Be Loved)
Lifted, Or The Story Is In the Soil Keep Your Ear To The Ground

Lost (updated)

Lately I've been all over the place. Even this post was a complete mess just a few hours ago (and probably still is).

My point is this. I'm kinda feeling, well, a bit lost. And I really don't know what to do. Other then to do what I always do. Embrace it, write about it, and then let it slowly destroy me. Seriously, I'm not feeling terrible, just a bit disoriented. I'm still shooting almost everyday. But I'm not eating. And I'm constantly tired. But I am sleeping well, so that's a good sign, I think.

Today for example. I didn't leave the house. Other then to go look for my notebook (below). And although that was the right thing to do, to not leave the house, I couldn't flippin' relax at all. I was just pacing back and forth. I can't even sit down and read. It's like I don't have the energy. I almost don't have the energy to think. And that scares me.

A few days ago I started to feel the downward spiral hit, and either its completely psychological, and stems from my mishap last week, or I need a break. I got word a few days ago that I double exposed a sheet of 4x5 film, and that I had about twice as many blank sheets come up then normal. Every once in a while I will get two or three sheets that pop up blank, and this comes from my being extra careful. While I am shooting, I usually try and keep an accurate number of how many sheets of film I have left. For example: after I got done shooting a portrait yesterday, I counted one unexposed sheet of film left. But say I come home and download the film, and I find two sheets of unexposed film. Then I get weirded out. Chances are I just didn't see the second one, but there is also a chance that I forgot to mark the portrait I just took as shot/exposed. So to be safe, I will download both of those sheets and send them off to get developed. Ninety percent of the time they are both blank. But if there is a chance that the film does carry a latent image, and I don't send it off to be developed, then I will use that sheet the next day, and double expose the film, possibly ruining a great shot. So, not only did I recently have five blank sheets pop up on me, a double exposed sheet came up as well. My second double exposure since 2004.

And to top it all off. last week I lost my favorite hat, which was my grandfathers. And yesterday I realized that I lost my Boonville, Indiana Notebook. It carries all of my thoughts and ideas for Indiana, not too mention the phone #s of the people I still want to photograph, and all the info of the people I have already photographed. It felt like losing a hard drive. It was devastating. Luckily, I decided to copy about 70% of the info from that book into my computer so I could print it out and prop it up on my dashboard in the car. So although I did lose all the info of the people I have photographed, I did save a few numbers, and most of my ideas to date. And that is a lot better then losing it all. I still hate the idea of someone out there with that notebook, but I'll get over it.

UPDATE: I just realized that I may have lost my notebook the last time I used my jacket as a darkcloth, which I do too often. I thought the book may have fallen out of my pocket while I was shooting near the railroad tracks. So I went back to the spot. And within one minute I found both my pen and my notebook. Nice.

Upcoming: Locate|Navigate, Kansas City

six of twenty Boonville Snapshots, Timothy Briner, 2007

Locate | Navigate – exercises in mapping (part 1) Opening Reception: Friday January 18, 6-9 pm Urban Culture Project Space | 21 East 12th Street KCMO |816.221.5115 Gallery hours: Thursdays & Saturdays, 12-5 pm Exhibition runs January 18-March 8

A map is a visual representation of an area — a symbolic depiction highlighting relationships between elements of that space such as objects, regions, and themes. Many maps are static two-dimensional, geometrically accurate representations of three-dimensional space, while others are dynamic or interactive, even three-dimensional. Although most commonly used to depict geography, maps may represent any space, real or imagined, without regard to context or scale.

Locate | Navigate: exercises in mapping, curated by Charlotte Street Foundation Associate Director Kate Hackman, is a two-part exhibition project including drawings, paintings, sculpture, photography, installation-, audio-, video-, web- and performance-based work by diverse local, national, and international artists.

Locate | Navigate part 1, opening at Urban Culture Project Space on January 18, features work by Leah Beeferman (Richmond, VA), Timothy Briner (Brooklyn, NY), Joe Faus (Kansas City), Karen McCoy (Kansas City), Johnny Naugahyde (Kansas City), Garry Noland (Kansas City), Jack Rees (Kansas City), Eric von Robertson (Amsterdam, the Netherlands), Michael Schonhoff (Kansas City), Larry Thomas (Kansas City), Andrew Thompson (Detroit, MI), and Cara Walz (Kansas City). Exhibited projects range from Eric von Robertson’s “Cloudburst” and “City Guide,” encompassing hand-drawn maps, photographs, and taxidermic dog sporting knitted relief map/sweater as components of an ongoing documentation and collection of discarded umbrellas; to Joe Faus’s interactive, multi-layered map of the Crossroads area, including audio recordings and personal topographical map layered on top of a large-scale street map annotated with happenings and observations accumulated over multiple decades; to a selection of snapshots from Timothy Briner’s “Boonville” project, for which the artist is exploring small-town America by living in and documenting six different towns called Boonville across the country. Also included in this “part 1” exhibition will be a resource area including library of map-related publications and articles, computer terminal with list of on-line map-related artist projects, and “pin up” wall for visitors to make their own contributions to the exhibition.

P.S. I will not be at the opening do to the Boonville, Indiana action, but I do have a tentative date in early Feb. to give a talk. Please go and check out the show if you are in the area!

Boonville: Day ???

The vicious mid-Boonville cycle has hit, and was fully at its peak yesterday. Every time I get into a new town it rears its devilish head, and at every town's mid-point or so, it comes full circle, and hits harder then ever. I'm sure you are sick of hearing me complain (you should see my journal). But this one was excruciating, and almost crippled me. I was close, closer then I was that first month in Missouri, to wrapping it up and heading back East. I terribly wanted to see home and to get this weight off my shoulders. But I calmed down and went to Louisville to see Drew, and to look over some work. The work was disappointing, as it always is when I first see it. But after a few hours and a few beers, it wasn't so bad. That visit with Drew really helped. Like I've said before, sometimes a little boost and support can really go a long way. Thanks, Dru.

I think it would feel great to take off five or six months: recoup, find some money, and start again in the fall. But I also think it would be damaging to the work, my psyche and my momentum. So for now, I will continue to push along.

Day 22 vs 36 vs 99 vs 158

Boonville, Missouri, Day 22
Boonville, N. Carolina, Day 36
Boonville, New York, Day 99
Boonville, Indiana, Day 158

B'ville: Day 156! (Recap, Thanks!, Donate)

Bunny Bread (Soft-Twist), Wal-Mart, Boonville, IN

2007 was an amazing year! After having two knee surgeries in 2006, and having to recover for the beginning of 2007, I am looking forward to a surgery-free/recovery-free '08! My knee still bothers me everyday, especially the days I am hiking or shooting for more then five or six hours, but it is still attached, and it bends!

The "Boonville" project really started coming together in late '06, and it was clear by March of '07 that it would become a reality. It has been sitting in the back of my mind, and bugging all my friends, since 2003. I've been reading old "Boonville" blog posts and journals from the last two years, and although I get caught up in everything from time to time, not a day has gone by that I haven't thought about how this project now exists in places other then my mind, or my journal. It's amazing!

Ninety percent of the monetary support for "Boonville" has come from my friends, family, and people I have met along the way. Without you, this would not have happened, and I cannot continue to thank all my supporters enough. As I have mentioned in the past, I try to send out postcards and thank you notes to all of you, but if you have not heard from me (there may or may not be a good reason) email me (timothybriner@gmail.com) and give me a slap across the face.

The first big push to get funding and support was outstanding, and allowed me to get on the road. I was also given a car for the project, and I received an equipment and film grant from my alma mater, The Hallmark Inst. of Photography, in MA.

We estimated that the amount received would give me three months on the road. Thanks to all the wonderful Boonvillians I have met along the way, it lasted for six months! That funding is now exhausted, but I recently sent out more support letters (I hate asking for money) and they also proved to be successful. I cannot express how much all the support means to me! Thank you for a wonderful "Boonville 07!" And I can't wait to see what happens in '08!

If you would like to lend your support to the "Boonville" project, click HERE, and type "Boonville" into the space labeled "Designate." 250$ supports five days on the road. All donations are welcome and appreciated, and are tax-deductible through Cannery Works; "Boonville" is underwritten by Cannery Works, a non-profit arts organization in NY.

Donation gifts are available, and range from: Postcard sent from road ($25+), an 8x10 final print ($100+), a signed copy of the final monograph,($500+), and a 20x25" final print of your choice ($1,000+).

In Search of America, Part 3

Timothy Briner, 2007

Today I dropped Laura off at the airport. Another great visit with another sad goodbye. It has been hard to shut down and not think about my work for the times Laura has visited me. But it is even harder to get past the void that is left when she is gone.

"My wife flew in from the East for her brief visit. I was delighted at the change, back to my known and trusted life--but here I run into literary difficult...

When that time was over and the good-bye said, I had to go through the same lost loneliness all over again, and it was no less painful then at first. There seemed to be no cure for loneliness save only being alone." John Steinbeck, Travels With Charley: In Search of America, 1962